I like to think of myself as a confident person, but this wasn’t always the case, at least in a professional context.
Rejected by Baker’s Oven
During the last year of school, my friends all had retail jobs to earn spare cash at the weekends. I must have applied for 30-odd jobs in various Uxbridge shops and was turned down by all of them (Shoe Express at least gave me an interview, but I think I ballsed that up by asking if I could wear boots to work). Eventually my mum got me a job cleaning toilets at the primary school she worked at - this was in the olden days when the council didn’t outsource this stuff, so it paid pretty well!
It was a similar situation when I was looking for work during university holidays. I would sign up with several temp agencies and hear nothing. Not even the enormous sandwich-making factory near Heathrow Airport wanted me. In the end, Dad got me my first programming job, building a website for a company he’d done some consulting for. I made a truly disgusting-looking website* for what seemed like a stupidly large amount of money at the time.
The same pattern happened again after university. Countless applications, graduate schemes, temp agencies, all rejected. My uni friends were all moving on with their lives and I was stuck. I had a couple of short term jobs (again, via Mum’s seemingly vast network of contacts) but spent several months on the dole. It was extremely depressing.
While I was grateful for my parents finding me those opportunities, I felt pretty guilty about this massively privileged method of job-seeking. I’d acquired every job I’d had via nepotism! It felt like I would never be able to land a job on my own.
Temporary Secretary
Finally I got a temping job - without Mum’s help! It turned out that years of ICQ/AIM/Messenger** usage had upped my typing speed to 81wpm. After a few months they made my role permanent and I ended up staying for several years. My confidence was still in the dumps though. I told myself that the temping had given me a foot in the door, and I wouldn’t have got the job otherwise. I’d never had a successful job interview with someone who hadn’t already been told that I wasn’t an axe murderer. I kept applying for better-paid jobs, and experienced the same round of rejections.
I wish a website like Ask A Manager had been around in those days. I think my CV and cover letters would have been better, my interviewing style less manic/terrified, my job applications more targeted.
‘How did you get started in tech’
After several months of sustained crappiness from the temp-then-permanent job, I ended up quitting with nothing lined up. I was in a privileged position to be able to do this, however it really did focus my mind when it came to job hunting! With help from friends, I decided to sharpen up my Python, JS and CSS skills, and have another go at making disgusting-looking websites for coin.
Miraculously, applying for a job I actually felt I could do, in an industry I was interested in, rather than ‘blindly applying to anything to escape from my current place’, got a result! WHO KNEW. The boost to my confidence (and bank account) was huge. I had done this all by myself! Or had I?
Privilege is everywhere
While my parents didn’t write my CV, coach me in interview techniques or press ‘send’ on an application email, they had laid the groundwork for that confidence early on. They worked hard to create a stable environment for me to grow up in. They encouraged me to push myself academically when I was reluctant to do so. Mum in particular was an excellent role model of being unafraid to stand up for yourself in the working environment, and elsewhere. Without all those advantages, my life would have been very different.
And of course, I’m a white, degree-educated, cis woman with English as a first language. All those little parcels of privilege had always been there, just waiting for me to have the confidence to unlock them all.
Using my powers for good
I don’t feel guilty about my privilege anymore, as that’s no help to anyone. What I can do instead is use my powers to help strengthen the ladder instead of pulling it up behind me. That means mentoring, blogging (hello!), coaching and pairing. It also means sponsoring - suggesting opportunities for others - just like my parents did for me.
*I am not, and will never be, a designer.
**All bundled up together in a Trillian client!